Monthly musings, inspiration and support for an empowered motherhood
4 Traps keeping you from thriving as a mama
Do you ever wonder if being a mama should be this tough?
No matter how hard you try, that nagging feeling of not measuring up creeps in, and the frustration, guilt, and exhaustion seem to linger far more than you’d like.
I’ve got a secret to tell you… It’s not you, and it’s not the kids, either.
Two things can be true
I want to talk about something that I haven’t always felt comfortable admitting. Truth be told, sometimes the gritty reality of motherhood feels so disappointing compared to the pastel-hued expectations I held before I became a mother.
But while having mixed emotions about most things in life seems completely rational, for some reason admitting that we have conflicting emotions about motherhood feels provocative, something to push down – a dirty secret to keep hidden.
Motherhood’s Great Expectations
Modern motherhood’s great expectations are leaving women feeling broken when they experience something else - shock, fear, doubt, anger, grief, loneliness, resentment - alongside the mandated joy and wonder.
Ghosted: when three-quarters of mamas feel invisible, isn’t it time we admitted we have a problem?
A recent campaign by the motherhood app Peanut revealed that 72% of UK mothers feel invisible, and a whopping 93% feel underappreciated, unacknowledged, or unseen.
These stats highlight the alarming reality of modern-day motherhood, and it’s high time we acknowledge that we have a problem.
Breaking up with Superwoman
We’ve been led to believe that to be a strong, successful woman and mother, is to be a superhero. To do all of the things - perfectly - and to be in control, and unemotional whilst doing them.
But the truth is, we’ve forgotten that there is another definition of strength.
Maternal ambivalence: the two truths of motherhood
While more women may feel comfortable saying that motherhood is hard, saying that you don’t always enjoy it, or dare I say it, sometimes hate it, still feels taboo.
Ambivalence is that feeling of being pulled in opposite directions by strong emotions, needs, values or passions. It’s being conflicted and something that I believe should be talked about more openly.
Dropping the mask of motherhood
Most people who knew me during early motherhood – even my nearest and dearest – saw this version of me: smiley, nails done, baby in a cute outfit, loving mum life.
Why do we put up this Mask of Motherhood? What stops us from showing our true experience?