Five Things Every Mum Feels (But Hardly Ever Says Out Loud)
Ever feel like you’re the only mama in your NCT group, WhatsApp chat, or workplace who just can’t quite get her sh*t together? Trust me, you’re not alone.
I work with so many mums navigating matrescence - that wild, unpredictable transition into motherhood that continues well beyond birth. This journey can feel overwhelming, especially when it seems like everyone else has found some secret hack to motherhood. So, if you’ve ever had these thoughts, take a deep breath and know this: you’re not alone, and you don’t have to carry these feelings by yourself.
Here are five of the most common things I hear from mamas in the thick of it. If any of these sound familiar, know it’s completely okay—and there’s another way.
1. "Why does it feel like I’m the only one struggling so much?"
We’ve all been there, looking around, feeling like everyone else has this motherhood thing figured out. The reality? Motherhood is challenging, and it’s meant to be. It changes us, stretches us, and pushes us to our very edges.
What if, instead of pushing those feelings down, you gave yourself permission to acknowledge them? Matrescence is a slow, bumpy journey, and accepting that truth might just be what you need to drop your shoulders a little.
2. "I’m not the mother I thought I would be..."
We all carry images of the mothers we thought we’d become - mine was a boss-mum-earth-mother hybrid! But the reality of motherhood rarely matches those glossy daydreams, and trying to live up to that “perfect” version can rob us of the joys and lessons in the here and now.
Letting go of those old expectations can be freeing. What would happen if you embraced the mama you are today, imperfections and all?
3. "I worry I’m not present enough..."
There’s a lot of pressure on mums to be fully “present” at all times, but that’s a huge burden, especially if you’re balancing work or other passions. Being a loving, engaged mama doesn’t mean giving up every part of yourself; you deserve to pursue your own dreams and interests too.
Imagine making space for yourself and your passions alongside motherhood. How would that feel?
4. "I feel like I’m not doing well at anything..."
Trying to juggle everything—career, family, the house, and your own well-being—often leaves mums feeling like they’re not succeeding at anything. The truth? It’s impossible to work as though you don’t have kids and mother as though you don’t have a job.
What if, instead of playing by everyone else’s rules, you created your own? How might your life change?
5. "I used to have it all together—now I feel so out of control..."
Motherhood is messy and unpredictable, and while you can’t control everything, you can take small steps toward what is in your control. Recognising that some things will remain uncertain can actually be empowering, helping you focus on the choices that make a difference.
Maybe it’s time to set a boundary, ask for help, or simply show yourself some compassion. What small step could you take today to ease a little of that pressure?
Sound Familiar? Let’s Chat About What You Can Do
If any of these struggles resonate, know that there are ways to work through them. You don’t have to figure it all out alone, and you certainly don’t have to carry the weight of unrealistic expectations. Many mamas I work with feel exactly this way—and I’ve been there myself too.
If you’re ready to release the impossible standards and embrace a version of motherhood that feels authentic to you, I’d love to help you get there. Feel free to reach out if any of these struggles hit home. Together, we can find your path forward.
